Favorite tv shows.

I'm going to make this one quick easy and clean

Weeds
Skins
King of Queens
Jack and Bobby
Big Brother


Alright lets do a quote from all of them, or in weeds case a big ass monologue (about masturbation no less)

This is the part where Shane Botwin (aged 13) is being taught by his Uncle a few finer points of masturbation

Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed.

Skins: “I lost my head, and then he gave me head and then we got deported from Russia and i’m very sorry for being a slut okay…”

King of Queens
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Hasn't anyone said you look like someone?
Doug Heffernan: Oh, you mean like every famous fat guy in every movie ever?

Jack and Bobby: Peter Benedict: The world would be a better place if more people weren't afraid to lose.

Big brother: Rachel everything about you is a lie: your hair is a lie your boobs are a lie the only thing honest about you are the pimples on your chin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T904BvOO168

So afterwords both these people lost but they became best friends afterwords. Hard to believe right? Best fight scene in all 13 seasons (and I have seen every single one of them)