I think I'm ready to (C)log about it.

You guys should be really, really, proud of me. This week I did something WAY out of my comfort zone. I listened to GREASE the musical. Don't get me wrong I love a good high school hop and I don't know how I could of made it through high school without an angel of my own but, all joking aside: This musical haunts me.

Sit down boys and girls and let G'pa Scott tell you a sad, sad tale. I was once in arguably the most famous musical from the 70's. It was the post summer of my SOPHMORE year. I had only been in two COUNT THEM 1-2 shows in my entire high school career before this show. I had already known at this time that theater would be one of the most important things in my life though and so when I found out me and my family were moving to Ivins UT I remembered something about a spectacular amphitheater called TUACAHN. When we went down to visit the house my parents drove me by said theatre. I remember my first time seeing it like it was an hour ago. It was a beautiful array of buildings surrounded by the most beautiful canyon rock God had ever created.

Imagine the massive amounts of shit that were in my pants when I found out not only was it a theater but it was also an Arts school. We walked around saw a gift shop saw the massive stage in all it's glory and then we found what would become one of the most influential woman in my entire High School life. Jan Shelton (as she was known at the time) carried herself like a perfect business woman should. She walked like she owned the place, (which to anyone with half a brain would know that she totally did. She did more for that place than I care to write about....I just don't have the time)  She was completely kind and helpful to the three newbs walking around (me and my parents) and then after three minutes of conversation, she led on that she was the theater teacher at the school and she was also in charge of TSTI (Tuacahn Summer Theater Institute) and would you like very much to be in a show young man.

1 The amount of shit that was in my pants previous to this conversation was measley in comparison to the meadow muffins I was now planting.

2 YES I WOULD!

and finally Number 3: What show was it?

Then her mouth moved in complete and utter slow motion.

G.....r..........e.........a.......s........e

I thought oh wow I think that's a good one.

My mom's face on the other hand was the same as if she had just won a baby sized elephant.

GREASE?! OH MY GOODNESS! Scott you gotta do it. You just gotta! MAKE YOUR MOMMA PROUD.

"Oh, Wonderful" says my dad. When do rehearsals start?

and now here is where it gets a bit foggy in my brain. I can't remember if the first rehearsel was earlier that day OR if she had accidentally told me the wrong date.

I think what had happened was she gave me a paper that hadn't had the write date on it, from the previous year. It also had a different time.

So my first rehearsal was everyone else's second rehearsal and also I was three hours late. (Not my choice, I just was informed of the wrong time.)

Now before I go any further I need you to understand (to the best of my knowledge) how this entire process worked. When boys and girls auditioned for TSTI they were doing it in places like LA, SLC and other big names that are identifiable by small acronyms. They had EVERYTHING professional. Professional COSTUME DESIGNER,  Professional SET DESIGNERS, professional BAND Professional DIRECTOR and the scary part for me Professional CHOREOGRAPHER. 

Sense I was late, everyone the chorus part was already over. Now it was time for a getting to know you exercise. That part of the story isn't entirely important but what is important is the people I would be doing shows with. White people, Black people, short people, tall people, men, women and A GAY

Not only was Cody Ham gay but, he was entirely comfortable and happy with it. I couldn't believe it, This is six years prior to my own coming out so Cody Ham was a scary scary boy who was not to be dealt with lightly. What if he knew by the look of me? Could he tell by my smell, my look, the way I talked...Could Cody Ham truly and honestly tell that I was deep inside a fabulous queer to scared to come out?

(The short answer is Yes. The long answer is: Yes, and so could everyone else, it wasn't really something I was good at hiding, but I knew I would deny it tell the day I died.)

After this hour long activity we got to the next part of rehearsel: Dancing. Now everyone had already got in six hours worth of dancing the day before so in the words of fat 15 year old I was totally screwed.

Here is where I need to introduce to you, The most amazing, brilliant, flexible, quick paced Choreographer I have ever met.

Mic Thompson is a man who has done very VERY well for himself. Dancing with the likes of Michael Jackson, The tonight show, The OSCARS, ENCHANTED, The list honestly goes on and on and on. It can be seen here http://www.micsmatch.com

Basically I would come to hate him with every inch of my fat fat fat heart. Let me tell you, I never truly understood how fat I was until Mic made me Jiggle all over the dance floor. And Jiggle I did.

(Before I finish this last bit of the blog I need to order some comfort food, as this this is where it gets, scary.)

I honestly don't know if I didn't push myself hard enough, or if I just wasn't qualified. But in the course of the show I would be kicked out of not 1 not 2 not 3 but 4 songs. Banished to perform the hand jive, No longer destined to sing about Summer nights, and High school hop? More like high-school-sit-your-fat-ass-down.  And, for those of you counting the 4th and final number banished was I: The hand Jive. THE HAND JIVE. I couldn't be in the HAND JIVE?! ....come to think of it I was kicked out of greased lightning as well, so 5 dances.

5 dances.

5 dances.

5 dances.

I was broken, I was damaged, I was hurt, Self confidence? Forget about it. After the 2nd song I just sort  of expected it with the others.

Thing is, I had no previous dance training at all. I had only been in 2 small shows. Charlie Brown and Midsummers. That was it.

But then, My own personal angel came to me in the form of Melissa Erickson, besides being an amazing friend and a hilarious stage manager she was a BRILLIANT spirit lifter. She pulled me aside and told me some sob story about how her sister wanted something but couldn't have it until she tried really hard for it. It wasn't the story but the thought that she cared enough to try and lift my spirits that really got me going. I was still the awkward fat kid but now I would be the awkward CONFIDENT fat kid.

Now I CONFIDENTLY knew that going into dance rehearsel I would be thrown out. I confidently took my spot on the floor to watch every. single. kid. get up to hand jive, or high school hop.

This was the lowest point for me theatre wise. It truly was a horrible experience. I wanted it to end every single day I went.

I would not change one damn thing about it.

This show gave me something I didn't have theatrically: Balls.

When my dad wants something to get done and I don't want to do it he alaways says: Grow some balls and be a man.

Well thanks to Grease I hit my theatre puberty and grew a hefty pair of low hangers.

To Jan: I obviously can not write enough about how much you have helped me become who I am. Thank you.

To Cody: Thank you for being your true self and accepting who you are and giving closeted 16 year old like me someone to look up.

To Melissa: You hilarious girl. Thank you for that speech. I can not tell you how much I needed at that time.

Lastly and most importantly: Mic: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for not holding my hand. Thank you for kicking my fat ass. Thank you for shaping me into the dancer (albeit not the best one) I am today. Without you, I would be nowhere near the person I am today. You made me ride grease hard and fast and, there is nothing I will ever be able to do, to show you how truly grateful I am for the hell that was those three months. I wish and pray that I can someday become 1/4 of the performer you are because then, I will be truly successful. (oh and I totally hope you forgive me for all the mean words I called you in my head back then, I apologize)